Grinchy...

I was going to write more about the squishy heart issue (see 2 entries down), when that got me thinking, literally, about the Grinch from Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas. (Something about a heart that was two sizes too small perhaps?)

I must admit it. I do not enjoy the holidays. I'm not sure if I'm in fact a "Grinch", but I certainly can identify with the saying,"Bah Humbug." Sure, I like being out of school for a couple of weeks, but overall, it's a stressful and unstructured time. I wonder if any of your students could be feeling this way as the holidays draw near?

Things you can do to help as holiday time approaches:

1. Keep routines as "normal" and as structured as possible, with advance notice of changes (when you can).

2. Remember that holidays are not joyful for everyone. Be aware of anxiety and stress that may be happening at home as the holidays grow near.

3. De-emphasize material items, when appropriate. Wish lists can be a great creative writing or math activity. Just realize that for some, who may not be able to afford holiday luxuries- discussing what "could" be can be difficult.

4. Be aware of cultural and religious differences. Be sensitive and share others holiday traditions and celebrations.

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These ideas may be helpful to you when you come back from Winter Break too!

Free Rice!

Help end world hunger & improve your vocabulary. If for some reason the link above doesn't work, please check out http://www.freerice.com/ .

Big 'Ol Softy...

Thick Skin vs. Sensitive Heart Part 1

A colleague approached me the other day expressing sadness over a situation which involved one of her students being placed in foster care. What surprised me was the lack of emotion I felt about the scenario. After all, this I had worked with this student many times the past school year and cared for her, but I'd heard it and experienced it before. I started rationalizing instead of becoming emotional. This startled me. As an educator, have I been hardened to the perils students face? Is it a benefit to have a super thick skin or to have a sensitive, squishy heart?

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It was over nine years ago when I first started teaching. I will never forget my students that year, especially one young girl who touched my heart. C was a firecracker. She had been taken from her biological parents and placed in foster care for almost six months when I came to know her during her 3rd grade year. She had come from a background of abuse, violence and neglect I can only imagine. Of her siblings, C was the only one who was not hospitalized, but she still had her issues. She would often spend what seemed like hours throwing tantrums and would often hide under the teacher's desk. She would run into the bathroom when she didn't want to do something and there were several times where I would sit on the bathroom floor slipping her assignments under the stall and just talking to her. I will never forget the time when I caught her looking off of her spelling list during a test and when I said, "Please turn it over." she grabbed her entire tub of materials, held it above her head and turned all the contents "over" and onto the floor. She then smiled and said, "You only said to turn IT over, so I did." I loved this kid!

C also had a wonderful amount of spunk, sass and potential. She was smart! She had a gift for reading people and was extremely intuitive of others feelings. She controlled her environment like no other I've ever met. She was a survivor and it showed! C had made tons of progress academically, socially and emotionally over the year. She wasn't throwing tantrums as often and as we built a community of trust, we built a strong relationship and foundation for learning to happen. She hadn't hidden under the teacher's desk in months, and while she still had her "moments" she was really showing that she had the skills and desire to continue to improve. It was right after we returned from winter break that C ran into my room crying and hugged me saying, "I'm going to be adopted. They are going to adopt me! The chose me!" In my experience with her I never saw C cry "real" tears and C didn't like to be touched, but she initiated this and I knew it brought her true joy. I was glad that she chose to share that moment with me.

C continued to make progress as the year went on and I was pleased. Not that we didn't have our moments- C was not "cured" and she still definitely had an "emotional disability", but she was improving. The fact that she was going to be adopted and continue in this community, was just the icing on the cake for me. I became so hopeful for her future. I worked extra long hours creating plans for her, I advocated for her to be in classes that teachers were unsure she could "handle." I really catered to her learning styles and we came up with a behavior system for her that she bought into and was a part of. I saw a future for C and was glad to be a part of her success. It was with this excitement and momentum that I came to our annual case conference with. It happened to be late May, because I had wanted to see how much progress she made and give a good recommendation of what class to put her in the following school year. I was excited because we had a made a decision that I would stay on as her teacher of record because of our relationship and progress. I was thrilled. I had just gotten the signature on her IEP when her foster mother looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "We have decided not to adopt C. We are having a baby in the fall and are not sure it will be safe for him. It's been very hard, but C will be removed right after school gets out." She excused herself from the table and exited. I couldn't speak a word. My mouth dropped, my heart sank and I began sobbing in front of everyone at that conference as soon as she turned to leave.

My heart and part of my spirit were broken.

C was different after that and so was I. The last couple of weeks went by in a blur. I went to see C the day she was leaving at home. I gave her the book The Pinballs by Betsy Byars and wrote a message on the inside with my address and phone number. I told her that I cared for her and gave her a hug before I left. She didn't hug me back. I never saw or heard from her again. I didn't return to teaching in that school the following school year.

~~~

I am so thankful today for the gift of being able to work with C that first year that shaped so much of the teacher I am today. My then-soft, squishy heart was what drove my passion and commitment to the students I worked with. It was the same heart that broke on the floor of that meeting room and never looked at a student through the same eyes again. It was that heart that was unable to walk the halls of that school without knowing where C was and imagining her there.

Although I still lead with care and concern and believe that is the best way to reach students, it can be a really fragile and dangerous place to teach from. But isn't that what risks are all about? Isn't that what makes both the worst and best parts of our jobs? It's a fine balance and one I continue to struggle with.

To be continued...

The gift of autism...

I just recently got back from the second day of some really informative training regarding people with autism. The autism community is one that is fast growing- not only in numbers of those with that label, but also, with those who support and encourage people, research and practices for those on the autism spectrum.

One of the most intriguing parts of this training was when a panel of four adults with Asberger's Syndrome came to talk about their lives, struggles and answer questions from the audience. There were consistent and clear messages from these individuals:

1) To be seen as people first; not first by the autism label.

2) To be treated with respect, dignity & care.

3) To be included with "typical" people and peers.

4) If people feel the need to put a label on them- to put one of "different" NOT disabled or as if something is wrong with them just because they have been diagnosed with autism.

To me, this seems unbelievably fair and reasonable. I am encouraged by the hope, research and knowledge being shared about people with autism. I hope that I will continue to see students as people first instead of looking first at their label or disability. I hope you will do the same.

Blah!

I'm feeling sluggish and having a hard time finishing a post. I have lots of ideas, but don't seem able to finish anyone of them. This, for me, is a tough time of year. I don't do well with overcast skies, cool, dreary weather and less sunlight. It's just a blah-time for me.

So, I wonder... for how many of our students is this a blah-time as well? Do our students have different moments of blah? How can we turn blah into something a bit more exciting & motivating? Hmmmm....

Poetry Friday: David's Poem

What if your going always got tough?
What if your good enough, was never enough?
What if your best was less than middle of the road?
What if communicating was always a top-secret code?

Would you continue to give it all you have got?
Would you accept your abilities, depite all you are not?
Would you continue to move forward, depite the effort so great?
Or would you give up and just chalk it up to fate?

What if your best was really just good enough?
Or your improvements and efforts were seen as up to snuff?
Even when others had done better than you-
The people around you saluted all your efforts too...

Wouldn't it be great if we all felt this way?
If we were seen just as remarkeable as the kids in "up, up & away..."
I know that I do, in fact, have gifts that are true.
I hope that you will take time to see my talents and help me see them too.

The Very Worst Thing

This is my third year reading The Very Worst Thing by Torey Hayden to my middle school Language Arts class. I am always amazed by the connection my students feel to this book and the enthusiasm they share as they beg me to read "just one more chapter" each day. It is simply a wonderful, yet fairly unknown, read.

This book is about an 11-year-old boy, David, who is "down on his luck" in life and creates lists of the very worst things in his life which include being in foster-care throughout his childhood, stuttering, having learning differences and being retained in the 5th grade (to name a few). However, he stumbles upon a great gift in finding an owl egg on day after school. The Very Worst Thing is a book worth reading to your class, to your kids or on your own.

Torey Hayden is generally a non-fiction writer who has written many books about the students she has interacted with in her career as a teacher of students with special needs over a couple of decades ago. Probably her most well-known book is One Child. You can check out her website by clicking here. However, this book, which touches on many relevant issues- including being a person who is considered gifted and talented- is written from a student's perspective. If you are looking for a new "read aloud" or just something to read quickly over a weekend, I encourage you to be inspired by the magic of this book.

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Note: I tried to link to Torey Hayden's site unsuccessfully. If you are interested in learning more about Torey or this book, please visit:
http://www.torey-hayden.com/index.html